For as long as I can remember being alive, I always loved God, and I always felt drawn to do the right things. But this particular day was different. I was 16, lying down on a large, warm oddly shaped but flat topped rock in the mountains. I was on retreat with my religious education class, preparing for my formal Confirmation into the Catholic Church.
The clear sky was beautiful. The tops of the trees waved gently and rustled with life as the wind made it’s way around us. I could hear birds and nature and all the sounds you just don’t hear at home or in the city.
Feeling myself sinking into the warm embrace of the sun and the mountains and everything else, I felt a thick infilling of God’s presence in my heart and head. And at that moment, looking up into the expanse of blue sky, I made my commitment to God. My commitment had 3 prongs:
- That I would not have sex until I got married. 🙂
- To commit my whole life to God, whatever that would mean.
- To always seek to find the truth, and the whole truth about God, no matter where it was.
The first commitment was more of my own personal way of saying that I was willing to love God more than my own desires. 🙂
The second and third commitments are what brought me to where I am in my spiritual life, today. It allowed my mind to doubt anything that didn’t seem right, comparing it to the knowledge of God that I knew was in my heart, be it culture, tradition, or even sacred texts.
I journeyed through conversions to Protestant Christianity with it’s music of praise, then Catholicism and the miracles of Christianity, and then a general embrace of the different forms of Christianity with all of it’s gifts.
I then learned meditation, bringing new levels of both Christian and spiritual understanding and insight, as I became a physician, combining the spirit and mind with the body and heart.
And finally, that same commitment to follow the truth wherever it lead brought me to the feet of my spiritual master, Beloved Avatar Adi Da Love-Ananda Samraj. Because the heart knows. And my heart was ripe and ready to fall in love with my Guru.
To fall at His feet is the Way of the Heart, and yet it is the Way that the ego will always refuse.
My heart has won, because I choose It.
The seeking journey has ended. What bliss!