Cooperative Community: A Summary

on June 25, 2015in Unity & Communitytags: community, sacred community, spiritual communitywith 4 Comments

Community

Ideals: unity, cooperation, true and deep relationship, interdependence, non-competitiveness, harmlessness, selflessness, and service. 

1. Personal responsibility for health, the environment, animals, work, and relationships. 

   1. This means that we are not manipulating each other for our personal gain, and we are honest in our workplace and in our homes. 
   2. Sales workers are honest and forthright, and non-manipulative in their sales strategy, taking into account the situation of the customer or buyer, and not pushing them to buy something which you feel is not appropriate for their life situation. 
   3. Awareness of prior unity in whatever field of industry that you work, and taking into account how your work and how the company in general is effecting society and the environment.

2. Cooperation with each other.

   1. Competitive play is appropriate only when approached from the “place” of Prior Unity, or the knowingness that we are all ONE. From that place, competitive play may be used for recreation and rejuvenation, in an atmosphere of fun loving openness.
   2. Healthy independence is taking responsibility for our lives. Unhealthy independence is rebellious.
   3. Interdependence is being willing to ask, to give, and to receive.

3. Sense of prior unity. 

   1. Everyone in the community is as One. 
   2. Everyone in the world is as One. 
   3. All of life- human beings, animal and plant life, and the earth, are all as One. 

4. Deep personal relationships based on honesty, vulnerability, mutual emotional support, and NO attention to social ego politics (what other people think) 

   1. Men with men and women with women, in group or in “one-on-one” sessions, deepening our relationships.
   2. Encouraging men to enter into mentorship with younger men and boys, and encouraging women to mentor younger women and girls. There can be official or unofficial times of spending more time with the same sex, in groups that combine adults and youth.
   3. Avoid “flirting”, or casual association between the sexes. 
      1. Be clear about your intentions to have a committed, long-term emotional-sexual relationship. This clarity is vital, and calls on the help of the community to support that relationship in healthy, non-judgmental ways.
      2. If the motivation is NOT clear, then there is the risk for people manipulating each other so that they can use each other physically, to pleasure each other without taking responsibility for the emotions of the partner, or the possible consequences of physical intimacy, such as STD’s or pregnancy. 
      3. Casual sex is destructive in that it “objectifies” both parties, taking away the humanity of the other person. Sexual intimacy must be associated with real responsibility, true caring of the other person, in a committed, long-term relationship. 
      4. There is nothing inherently wrong with strong friendships between men and women, as long as there is personal accountability between the community, and the relationship is clearly friendship based, and non-sexual. Groups are an excellent, safe way to nurture these strong non-sexual, non-manipulative, very loving and supportive relationships.
         1. When there is friendship between two people, and one or both of those people are in a long-term committed emotional-sexual relationship, it is necessary that everyone explicitly and implicitly supports the emotional viability of their emotional-sexual relationships.
            1. This means supporting your friends’ marriages, and not attacking or disrespecting or accusing their partners in an unloving and judgmental way.
            2. It also means that when your friend complains about their partner, that you do NOT support their ego by supporting any negativity, complaining, getting angry at their partner, or judging them. Instead, the approach should be one of emotional support and love for both your friend and for their partner, and encouraging your friend to be patient, to forgive, and to help them in positive ways to work out any negativity in their relationship. Support their relationship!
            3. If their is physical abuse or danger, of course, then tell the appropriate counselor or authority. Be intelligent.
   4. Committed, long-term emotional-sexual intimate relationships (like marriage, or couples)
      1. Couples who choose to be in a long-term, responsible and socially accountable intimate emotional-sexual relationship, but do not want to be married, should be supported as human beings, and should not pushed out of the community. They must be approached with love, non-judgement and acceptance.
      2. If your view of them is that they are “living in sin”, then the standards of non-judgement and tolerance must be applied. If they choose to live that way, then their responsible, open commitment to each other must be supported. 
      3. There must be an openness and honesty about our relationships. We must all be willing to “lose face”. If we want our marriage or relationship to “look good”, then we will not be honest about what is really happening, and there is no room for growth through the help of other couples.
      4. When their is “marriage problems”, personal problems, or relationship problems in general, (which we all have), there must be a culture of non-judgement, love, and emotional support.
         1. Traditionally, people with marriage problems, sexual issues, or drug/alcohol/tobacco issues, are judged and shunned by the community. This causes those persons to close down and makes them unwilling to be vulnerable in those relationships, because they know that they are being judged or talked about. This sense of alienation is detrimental to the community, and may cause that person to fall into a depression, feel rejected and unloved, and makes the support and love of the community completely unavailable to them when they actually need it most. 
         2. The same in marriage and personal issues. There must be such an intensity of love and non-judgement in the community, that when it’s your turn that your going through something with your partner or spouse, there is an immediate comfort in sharing, and a true, and deep, and no-doubt that the community is ready and waiting to receive you no matter what you are going through, whether big or small.
            1. You may decide to have deep, loving and non-judgmental conversations with other couples, and the men and women may decide to get together separately, one-on-one or in groups, to offer non-judgmental emotional support and advice for whomever is struggling.
            2. In reality, this will be a constant and ongoing rotation of support for and from everyone involved, and everyone will be constantly learning from each other. 

5. Tolerance of all perception of differences, whether cultural, religious, or whatever.

6. Focusing on sacred time together to “go ecstatic”.

   1. Sacred Gatherings. 
      1. Sing, dance, play music. 
      2. Food sharing, food gatherings.
      3. Home art shows, or a local sharing of each other’s sacred art.
      4. Time for the men and the women to spend time alone with each other, to have deep, honest, vulnerable and emotionally connected relationship. 
      5. Attending sacred worship together, as far as what is in common. (for example, Christians attending church together) 
      6. Other creative ways of celebrating each other, God, Life and Love.
   2. Sacred Art
      1. Each member of the community should develop a “Sacred Art”. It can be any type of positive creative expression, through writing, music, dance, singing, playing an instrument, or other art forms.
      2. Special times to celebrate each other’s sacred art to offer encouragement and a basis for deep, honest, loving and vulnerable discussion.

7. Open communication about sex and sexuality, in a loving and accepting and not-taboo manner.

   1. No shame, no blame.
   2. “No problem” should be the dominant attitude of ecstatic joy in God-Love. By using a “no-problem” approach, there is no room for shame, guilt, unnecessary rage or anger, mean forms of punishment or exclusion or isolation, future psychologically detrimental attitudes about sex. 
   3. Instead, there is a loving approach, open communication, “sex is not bad”, and both adults and age-appropriate young adults are able to freely and respectfully discuss their emotional-sexual issues in an open forum with other adults.
      1. This prevents young adults from developing sex-negative thinking and emotion, which spirals into sexual issues in their long-term relationships, guilt and shame issues, and the need to express their sexual energy in sex-negative ways, through pornography and/or violent video games, sexual aggression, violence, hurting and disrespecting others, casual irresponsible sexual play, and belittling and disrespecting the opposite sex.
      2. For adults, this attitude helps to build a healthier attitude toward sexuality in their committed emotional-sexual relationships, and allows for the discussion, between adults, of the deep, emotional issues that are intertwined with human sexuality. This is usually done with others of the same sex, one-on-one or in groups.

8. Holding each other accountable by simply offering emotional support always, offering honest, non-judgmental love and support.

   1. Expecting the best from each other. Let it be plain and obvious that we all want the best of each other. 
      1. Not worldly success per se, although there is nothing inherently wrong with worldly success, but the highest forms of moral responsibility and love, for everyone.
   2. NOT supporting each other’s egoity. 
      1. Being willing to support each other emotionally, and being there, and being loving. But don’t pretend to be OK with the negativity that you feel from the other person. Be willing to talk about it, pray about it, love each other about it, and transcend it, in a non-judgmental, loving way. 
      2. Important not to judge and condemn or hurt each other. It’s a simple loving emotional talk, or pointing something out in a loving way. 
      3. It’s important to note that what’s more common, and what needs to be transcended (gone beyond), is simply supporting each other’s ego by pretending to be OK with negativity.
         1. Example:   “I can’t believe she said that to me! I can’t stand her!” 
         2. In reply, supporting the negativity would be, “I know! I hate her! Why did you even talk to her?!” 
         3. NOT supporting egoity would be, “Hey maybe she had a rough day. I wonder what’s going on with her? You should call her and work it out.”

9. Sensitive subject: Chemical dependence.

   1. In a community, many members may have chemical dependancies, like smoking cigarettes or hookah, marijuana, or using illegal drugs like heroin, cocaine, meth-amphetamines, or recreational use of prescription drugs like Vicodin or Ritalin. 
   2. It is important to first and always recognize the Divine within each and every human being.
   3. That person is NOT a drug addict, or a smoker, or a pot head. That person is a HUMAN BEING, a Divine Being, and expression of God. 
   4. The primary goal is to provide that person with love, emotional support, and true, non-judgmental friendship. 
   5. Referring back to not supporting egoity, one can also not use those recreational drugs or chemicals with them when you are together. Spend the time with them, yes, and do so fully, and lovingly, and present, fully WITH them, loving them as yourself, as One. But do not support the habit by indulging yourself also. 
   6. Support group for quitting, or counseling, is an option, as long as it is done in love and non-judgment. 
   7. All chemical dependency or recreational use stems from “running away”, or not being willing to fully feel what your are feeling, and to fully feel the Life Force of God within you. So the ultimate “help” is the help of Divine Love. In other words, focus on intensifying your love for that person, and help them to intensify their love for you, and in that intensity, there is true community and freedom from ALL addiction-distractions, including chemicals. 

Love,

Dr. Moses.

Inspiration for this article comes from two books, “Not-Two Is Peace”, and “Prior Unity”, both by the World Friend, Adi Da Samraj.